اگه خودم مي فهميدم دارم

اگه خودم مي فهميدم دارم چه غلطي مي کنم خيلي خوب مي شد. اگه شما هم فهميدين خوشحال ميشم بهم بگين. هميشه به خورشيد گير مي دادم که تو خلي، اما حالا مي بينم که اون شخصي که خل بوده من بودم، فقط از نوع پنهانش!

پياده تا جام جم. پياده با پاي بدون کفش و بادکنک قلب بنفش به دست تا ونک. پياده روي با پاي برهنه تو خيابون ولي عصر خيلي کيف ميده، قاعدتا نبايد آدم جايي که مي دونه آدمهايي که ميشناسنش مي خونن بنويسه چقدر ديوونه است اما فکر کنم ديگه از دستم خارج شده.

خودم از دست خودم خارج شدم. پس اون همه کنترل چي شد؟ اون همه خونسردي و منطق؟ اون همه ادعاي سگي؟ اون همه جديت و سنگ بودن؟ الآن رل ماشين دست کيه؟ کي داره ميرونه؟ چرا آدمهاي دور و برم هيچ وقت کافي نيستن؟ چرا بايد فکر کسي که اصلا به قول يکي از دوستان محلي از اعراب نداره بيآد تو کله ام؟ چرا تا ميآم فراموش کنم يادم ميآره؟ چرا خودش رو ياد من ميآره؟

برو ديگه. اه. خسته شدم. مثل يويو. هي ميآد و هي ميره. خسته شدم. ذهنم خسته است. تقصير خودمه. خودم گفتم همين باشه. خودم خواستم که همين باشم. هميشه همه به حرفم گوش ميدن. قوانين رو من تعيين مي کنم و بعد هم ديگه همينه که هست.

"Just (You Do It To Yourself)"


Can't get the stink off
He's been hanging round for days
Comes like a comet
Suckered you but not your friends
One day he'll get to you
And teach you how to be a holy cow

You do it to yourself, you do
And that's what really hurts
Is that you do it to yourself
Just you and no-one else
You do it to yourself
You do it to yourself

Don't get my sympathy
Hanging out the 15th floor
You've changed the locks three times
He still comes reeling through the door
One day I'll get to you
And teach you how to get to purest hell

You do it to yourself, you do
And that's what really hurts
Is that you do it to yourself
Just you, you and no-one else
You do it to yourself
You do it to yourself

You do it to yourself, you do
and that's what really hurts
Is that you do it to yourself
Just you, you and no-one else
You do it to yourself
You do it to yourself, yourself, yourself

من که الآن حالم خوبه پس چرا انقدر قر و قاطي نوشتم؟ چي؟ من کنترل ندارم؟ کي گفته من کنترل ندارم؟ رل دست کيه؟ خوب معلومه که دست منه، دست کي قرار بود باشه؟ هر چي اون بالا مي بينين تراوشات يه ذهن خوددرگيره که هيچ ربطي به من نداره. من حالم خوبه. مي خندم و خوشم. بالاخره دست از سگيت برداشتم. ديوار ديگه نيست. ببينم حالا چقدر خراشم ميدن. چند بار له ميشم. چند بار ميرم تا عرش و با مخ ميآم زمين.

کسي هست که وقتي من له و داغونم دستم رو بگيره و بلندم کنه؟

"High and Dry"



Two jumps in a week,
I bet you think that's pretty clever don't you boy?
Flying on your motorcycle,
watching all the ground beneath you drop
You'd kill yourself for recognition,
kill yourself to never, ever stop
You broke another mirror,
you're turning into something you are not

Don't leave me high, don't leave me dry
Don't leave me high, don't leave me dry

Drying up in conversation,
you'll be the one who cannot talk
All your insides fall to pieces,
you just sit there wishing you could still make love
They're the ones who'll hate you
when you think you've got the world all sussed out
They're the ones who'll spit on you,
you'll be the one screaming out

Don't leave me high, don't leave me dry
Don't leave me high, don't leave me dry

Oh, it's the best thing that you ever had,
the best thing that you ever, ever had.
It's the best thing that you ever had,
the best thing you have had has gone away.

Don't leave me high, don't leave me dry
Don't leave me high, don't leave me dry
Don't leave me high,
Don't leave me high, don't leave me dry